Waiting Rooms

Written Wednesday 3-20-2013

As I finally start my third round of the second protocol of Chemo, which means I am tied to the needles, tubes, bags and pumps for five or more hours today, there is time to contemplate the message that God has placed on my mind and to complete another update.  I am truly thankful that the lab work came back with all the values in range to allow for Chemo today.  The verse that I am contemplating is Jeremiah 29:10-13 For thus says the Lord, “When seventy years have been completed for Babylon, I will visit you and fulfill My good word to you, to bring you back to this place.”  “For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”  “Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.”  “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”   The crux of the message is that the Israelites will be in captivity in Babylon for seventy years because they rejected God.  After the seventy year waiting period God will restore the Israelite Nation and restore their spiritual foundation.

 

Since I am again in the Waiting Room related to my cancer I can draw some parallels with the Jeremiah verses.  I have identified two kinds of Waiting Rooms that apply to my situation.  The first is the temporal Waiting Room.  This is the one driven by the physical world.  I am in that room based on the doctors and course of treatment they chose for me.  The end of this Waiting Room experience will be the next CT scan.  That is the measure of the success of the treatments on my cancer.  The second is the spiritual Waiting Room.  I will always be in the spiritual Waiting Room with God if I approach Him in reverence, unlike the Israelite Nation which spiritually separated themselves from God during the Babylon captivity.  But, even in that spiritual separation God had plans for welfare and a future and a hope for the Israelites.  So, God always had a plan for restoration of the Israelites.  In my situation I know that God is with me in both the temporal Waiting Room and the spiritual Waiting Room.  I know the plans He has for me, in a large part because I seek Him daily and pray to Him as often as I can.  I know He is with me since He has answered my prayers and continues to do so.  While I will be in the temporal Waiting Room periodically throughout my treatment I will always strive to remain in God’s spiritual Waiting Room.  In either case He is with me.  Since He is there with me in both waiting places, I can take comfort that He has plans for welfare and a future and a hope for me and that I can call on Him and He will listen.  That understanding along with the Unshakable Faith and Unstoppable Joy He has provided allows me to face this Adventure with full confidence.

 
 

Sunday 3-31-2013

For some reason, which I cannot elucidate, I am just now getting back to the Update I started eleven days ago.  God continues to amaze me with His provision.  During this Easter season His greatest provision for everyone is, of course, being proclaimed every where.  The sacrifice that Jesus made so that all our transgressions and human failings, that separate us from God, could be forever atoned for was God’s greatest act of reaching out to us to bring us back to Him.  What an awesome God!

 

I am officially retired from Oncor after thirty eight years with them.  It feels good and sad all at the same time.  There was a wonderful retirement celebration on March 18th at the Fairmont Hotel in downtown Dallas.  It was great seeing everyone and reminiscing about my career but what was especially nice was that Jan, Julie, Carol, and Catherine could be there and meet and talk with everyone I had worked with at Oncor.  Carl Brown made a very special wall hanging that had my favorite verse (Job 19:25) and a wooden cross on it with places for my employees to write very special messages on.  I was also given many notes and cards and a very generous gift of money.  Thanks to everyone who participated and for the wonderful mementoes and gifts. 

 

I know I am retired because my BlackBerry is dead (literally) and my work computer has been relinquished to Oncor.  Those were the final ties to work.  So far I have not missed them and I seriously think that I never will.  That chapter of my life is closed.  On to other endeavors.  I am staying busy and as I stated earlier, God continues to amaze me with His provision for my life.  We get notes and letters that are so very dear and confirm that God is at work in our lives on a daily basis.  Carol has been with us in Dallas since Thursday and will be leaving tomorrow.  Ralph Webb, a great friend from high school, will arrive in Dallas Thursday.  It has been thirty years since last we met.  That will be a special visit.  Catherine will be in town the next weekend.  We went to Easter Service Saturday afternoon at Matt Chandler’s church (The Village Church Flower Mound) and reconnected with some dear friends.  It was as if God orchestrated the whole affair. It was so awesome to attend the service as a family and so much fun to visit and catch up with Deb and Mike and their family.

 

I start my fourth round of the second protocol Tuesday, if the lab values work out.  I am ready for the next round because God is with me and His provision is perfect.  The Adventure continues.  As events unfold I will be continuing the Updates.  Thank you for your continued prayers and support.  Pray as God leads for me and my family.

Thank you

Price  

Report

I attempted to start my third round of the second protocol of Chemo today.  For the first time in all the infusions I have had, my lab levels prevented me from having Chemo today.  Specifically, my White Blood Cell Count and another value called the  Absolute Neutrophil Count were too low to allow for Chemotherapy.  I am now rescheduled for infusion on March 20th.  That will give my body time to recover and build my defenses up to satisfactory levels.  As I have stated in the past, God’s timing is perfect so I am not disappointed, just curious to see what God has in mind.  Watching Him work through all the red tape that is involved in Chemotherapy is part of the joy I receive knowing He is right beside me at every step I take on this Adventure.  I was going to use the time while hooked up to the Chemo stuff today to complete this update.  Instead, I am at home contemplating the message that God has placed on my mind and to complete the update.

Before I get into the meat of the message, I need to give some context to the verse that God gave me for this update.  The situation described in the Bible is that Jesus encounters a man filled with unclean spirits who are named Legion.  The man was completely uncontrollable and very tormented.  (I am leaving out some of the really neat parts where the Legion recognize Jesus as one who could torment them.)  Anyway, Jesus gives them permission to leave the man and enter a herd of swine.  All 2,000 of the swine immediately run down a steep bank and are drowned in the sea.  The herdsmen reported what had happened to everyone they could find and a crowd came to Jesus.  As they approached, they saw the tormented man sitting down, clothed and in his right mind and they became frightened.  (The world often misses the point of Jesus.)  The crowd entreated Jesus to leave and as Jesus was getting into the boat the man who had been demon-possessed asked to go with Jesus.  Jesus did not let him.  The verse picks up at that point.  Mark 5:19 And He did not let him, but He said to him, “Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He had mercy on you.”  Verse 20 states that he did as Jesus asked and everyone marveled.  It is ironic that when in the presence of Jesus some people of the world become frightened but when they hear from someone who was touched by Jesus they marvel.

I believe the reason God wanted me to share this verse in relation to my journey is to let everyone know that I am to follow the example of the tormented man when he was told by Jesus to tell the people what had happened.  I feel like I am supposed to share my Adventure with Jesus and God as it happens.  Doing so helps the people who are praying for my healing to maintain their diligence, it lets others know that Jesus is working in my life in a very powerful way, and it provides insight into Jesus in a way that is non-threatening to those who have not experienced the saving grace that Jesus provides.

It is important for me to report what great things the Lord has done for me and how he had mercy on me.  The journey is not over and I pray that I am up to the task of reporting when my healing occurs.  The accuser will not appreciate the powerful message that will be reported at that time and the total defeat of him it represents.  The other hindrance I foresee to my reporting is the proclivity of us to forget the great things God does for us in a surprisingly short time.  I am committed to not fall into that trap and maintain my reporting throughout the Adventure and after I am healed.

As far as how I am doing on the new protocol, I would have to say the second round was easier than the first.  The side effects were about the same but they lasted for a shorter period of time or I got used to them faster.  I am not sure which of those two statements are what actually happened.  When I get the third round it may give me the answer to that quandary.  For sure, God has been continually with me in the current protocol just like He was in the first protocol.  I am doing well and have not suffered some of the more devastating effects of Chemotherapy.  Carol is in town and she went with me this morning to Chemo.   Catherine will be in town along with Carol for my retirement next weekend.  I am blessed to have such a wonderful, supportive wife and three amazing daughters.  Thank you for all the support, encouragement, thoughtful notes, cards, gifts, and kindnesses that have been poured out on my family and me during this journey.  Please continue to pray, as you are lead by God, for my family and me all the way to the end of this Adventure.

Thank you,

Price

PS From Jan

I am prompted to report about two special pastors that have been used of God to minister to us during this time. First, we were so blessed, a few weeks after Christmas, to go up to Aubrey Texas to attend church at Oak Grove United Methodist Church. This is a special church because Sunday morning worship takes place in a beautifully renovated building that dates back to the 1800’s. But it was special to us because of the church’s pastor, “Reverend Liz”. We first met Liz approximately 20 years ago when she was Julie’s teacher. She is a gifted teacher and our time with her was very special. This includes the time she came with our family to Colorado on one Spring Break. It was a very exciting day when, during that trip, Liz and I took Carol and Catherine up chair lift #2 at Loveland Ski Basin. A whiteout blizzard came upon us as we got off the lift. We found out later they closed the lift right after we got on. Liz and I got our little snow train of 2 brave little girls down the mountain in one piece with only a touch of frost bite on the tip of Carol’s ear, where it had wiggled out from under her hat. After 20 years in education Liz became a student again and then became a pastor, now with her own church. We were blessed to hear her sermon and see her sweet congregation. We were also blessed to see Price’s name in the church bulletin asking for prayers, when she did not even know we were coming.

We became aware of another special Dallas pastor from picking up a book in the doctor’s office. The book is My Stronghold: A Pastor’s Battle with Cancer and Doubts by Joe Fornear. I share this resource because it is a great book to give to someone fighting cancer. He and his wife have another book available called In His Grip, Meditations with the Great Physician. These books can be obtained from Stronghold Ministry, PO BOX 38478, Dallas, Texas 75238 or at www.mystronghold.org.

I close with a picture of Julie and Price taken at Silverado Senior Living Center where we go to church with my mother. Our little service is conducted by Tim and Marilyn from Valley View Baptist Church. We are blessed by them as well! 

Second Protocol Begins

The first round of the second set of Chemo drugs is in the “bag” and in me.  I definitely felt this set of drugs as they were going in, unlike the first set.  The most noticeable effect was abdominal cramping.  That was dispatch with a dose atropine.  That and steroids are now my drugs of choice.  As I write this update the cramping as well as the other side effects I experienced during the infusion are things of the past.  It will take a day or two to see what additional impact this Chemo might have on me.  Tonight, as I write this update, I have not experienced any impacts.  This next set of Chemo drugs came with a twenty page manual covering the infusion pump that I wear home for two days.  Thursday at noon they will take it off.  While that may be daunting to some people, as an engineer it is downright exciting to figure out how it works.  Y’all know how I love to read manuals so I get two things I love to do with a take home, do it yourself infusion pump.

There are other warnings and obligations that occur with a take home, do it yourself infusion pump.  There is a bag of stuff labeled “Chemotherapy Spill Clean-up Kit”.  It contains such items as a Scoop and Scraper, a 21g Green-Z® Solidifier Pouch, a 12”x12” Super Barrier Zorb Sheet, and a 33”x40” Red Biohazard Bag.  I can be my own HAZMAT team if something comes loose and the Chemo drug gets out, instead of going into my body.  I find it somewhat funny that I am “HAZMATing” my body.  Additionally, while I am cleaning up the chemical spill I am to call 911 because the port that is directly tied to the vein leading to my heart would have been compromised.  I only hope I have enough time to clean up the spill before the EMT team takes me to the Emergency Room.  That would be another Robertson Adventure for sure.  You have to admit it is hilarious to think of the sight of me in the Open Back Gown that comes in the kit cleaning up the spill as the EMT cadre come in the door.  I would have to be the one to clean the spill up since I was also told by the infusion nurse today that I was to flush the toilet twice when I was through doing my thing since that is how the Chemo makes its escape from my body.  If flushing the toilet properly is a concern for the safety of my family from the bad effects of this round of Chemo then how could I ask Jan to risk her life to clean up my HAZMAT spill?  Love can only go so far.  I make the mess so I clean it up.  The EMT responders will have to wait to take me to the Emergency Room.

Additionally the drugs in this round have a seven page fact sheet with four of those pages listing, in three columns, possible Side Effects, How to Minimize Side Effects, and Possible Treatments.  As an example one of the Side Effects is Alopecia, also known as hair loss.  The How to Minimize Side Effect column starts off with “Alopecia cannot be prevented but here are some tips to help you cope with your hair loss.”.  The first tip is “Use a soft hairbrush.”. There is no Possible Treatments listed since they already informed us that hair loss cannot be prevented.  I know that it may not be cool to make light of the myriad of things that have to be considered with Chemotherapy but I have to find humor in all of this as I go through this next phase of treatments.  I certainly understand how all of this is not funny to those fellow cancer patients.  I guess I just have a different viewpoint than most people.

This last weekend had both girls in town and my brother and his wife.  It was a great weekend filled with lots of fun things to do.  It was a bit sad as everyone left Sunday.  Those are indeed precious moments.  Tonight, Melanie and Jeff brought more food over.  They said it was their favorite dish.  I cannot wait to see what it will taste like.  I have gotten used to the metal taste so it has almost become normal to me.

Since I referred to food above, let me finish this update with some more don'ts that I was informed of about one of the drugs I am taking. It contains platinum which is ironic since everything taste like metal! It also causes ice and cold to be the enemy. Cold foods and drinks, cold air to the lungs, and cold to the hands all cause negative side effects. That means to me that I will eat and drink my tepid food while breathing warm air from the steam kettle and wearing ski gloves. Another hilarious sight if I do say so myself.

As always please continue to support us in all the ways God ordains but most especially in prayer.

Thank you,
Price

God Is At Work At All Times & In All Things

While I do not have a miracle healing the results from the CT Scan show the tumors are less dense and my cancer “marker” (from a blood sample) has continued to drop. The lesser density means the tumors are dying leaving behind dead cells. Dr. Strauss decided it is time to change chemotherapy protocols, so I start next week with the protocol he first suggested way back when all this started, with some changes based on recent studies. It is great news and more evidence that God is at work that the doctor thinks my liver and kidneys can now handle the regimen. I will start this next Tuesday. The Adventure continues and we are back in the Waiting Room (Check out the Blog if The Adventure and the Waiting Room references do not make sense). Julie was a super Shadow Soldier while Dr. Strauss was with us. She has had a rough three days with no sleep and a lot of seizures. The seizures held off while we were at the doctors and started back when we got in the car. She is doing better tonight but she is still having seizures.

When I reflect back on the last four months it takes my breath away. I have experienced the closest walk of Faith in my entire life and feel closer to God because of it. That is the effect that “trials” have had in my life. When life is easy and the sun is shining, as they say, we often look up to see the sky, not to worship the Lord. Why does it take troubling circumstances for us to look for God? I know I am not the first to ask that question but I can testify that I fell into that trap more than once in my 62 years of life. I will relate a funny story that kind of illustrates my point. I was walking with a fellow worker reading a message on my BlackBerry near the old Republic building happy as a lark and enjoying the day. As I was not fully aware of my surroundings, I failed to notice that one of the iron covers that surround the trees in the front of the building had been removed. You are probably ahead of me with this already because it was just like some of those You Tube videos we all laugh over. Yes, I stepped where the grate should have been and proceeded to do a somersault onto the sidewalk. In the process I kicked a package of cigarettes out of the hand of a woman walking the opposite way with my foot. I was flat on my back looking at the sky asking the woman if she was alright while she was staring down at me asking if I was alright. I believe that situation is why the word humbling was created. She was fine and I was fine but it took a pothole for me to look up at the sky, think about others, and stop perseverating on the BlackBerry. You might ask if I learned my lesson and stopped reading BlackBerry messages while walking. Sadly I did not, but that also illustrates my point about how quickly we go back to the status quo with God.

My foundation is Christ. My worship is for God. My wisdom is from the indwelling Holy Spirit. God has sustained me and He will heal me. The verses in 2 Corinthians 1:20-22 For as many as may be the promises of God, in Him they are yes; wherefore also by Him is our Amen to the Glory of God through us. Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and anointed us is God, who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge. We are in the Waiting Room again but we are not alone and we are not dismayed. The Adventure continues and we are refreshed because we are not alone. We have God and we have all those who are praying for us. Please keep praying and know that your prayers make a difference. Thank you, Price

CT Scan

The CT Scan is complete and the results are in progress.  I have an appointment with Dr. Strauss (the Oncologist) this Wednesday at 2:00 pm.  That  is when I will find out the results and what the next steps are.  Thank you for all the prayer in preparation for today and during the procedure.  Matthew 7:7-11 concerns prayer and speaks about how eager the Father is to answer our prayers.  That is the comfort I feel when I think about all the people that are praying for me.  Please continue to pray as you are lead. 

Thank you,

Price

Unshakable Faith

Yesterday was the last infusion of the fifth course of chemotherapy.  This coming Thursday I will take the last oral dose of chemotherapy which will complete the fifth two week course.   They take lab work before starting the procedure and then check with the doctor to get clearance for the treatment.  My lab work came back with the hemoglobin at 7.6 which is below the 8.0 threshold that Dr. Strauss wants.  Because I have been sustained by the Father throughout this adventure I am not responding to such a low hemoglobin level in the normal way.  That is probably why Dr. Strauss released me yesterday to receive the treatment.  He also scheduled me for a blood transfusion today which is where I am as I write this.  This is the second time I have had a blood transfusion.  The first one brought my hemoglobin up to 9.6. 

I am scheduled for a CT Scan next Monday, February 4th.  As I stated in the prior update that is when the doctors will find out what the chemo has been doing to the tumors but it also is the first opportunity for them to discover God’s miraculous healing of the cancer.   That brings me to the point of this update.  If it were not for the unshakable Faith that God granted me from day one I am sure I would be anxious and concerned about the upcoming results.  That would be the normal reaction as well as worrying about what it means if the tumors have actually grown and the chemotherapy has had no impact.   Could that be part of God’s plan for me?  Would that not make the miraculous healing even more dramatic?  Is God not capable of healing terminal cancer?  Of course nothing is beyond God’s ability.  His plan for me is perfect and His timing is never wrong.  If I were to pray doubting that He will heal me then that would be an ineffective prayer.  I have confidence in the prayers I have offered to God because of the journey He has taken me on and the many answers to prayer I have already received.  I have rested in His arms and laid my desires into God’s hands through Jesus, who sits at the Father’s right hand interceding for me (Hebrews 1:1-3).

I was impressed to discuss these things before the CT scan results are known because fear of the unknown is one of the accusers most powerful tools he uses to separate us from God’s plan for us.  We must have confidence in and depend on doctors and chemotherapy as well as the vast array of options that are available to treat cancer.  That is God’s will for us.  God uses all of those range of options to heal us just as effectively as if He were to reach His hand out and remove the cancer.  In my case He has set me on a path of total dependence on God and effective prayer.  I have grown in my relationship with Him and found a much closer walk with Him through this adventure.  The accuser has been silenced from day one and the prayers that everyone has offered have had a great impact.  Please keep praying as you are lead and know that I could not be in a better place than I am right at this moment.  

There are two versus that fit the current situation I would like to discuss.  The first is Psalm 55:22, "Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken."  That speaks to the unbelievable gift God gave me with the unshakeable Faith.  I could not have made it this far or have such confidence or so successful defeated the accuser without God’s provision for me.  By praying effective prayers I am casting my burdens on Him.  He has sustained me and will continue to do so to the end.  My walk with Him has never been closer.  He truly has protected me and sustained me.  I have never been shaken in large part due to your prayers and God’s answering those prayers.  It is human nature to want to remove doubt and uncertainty from life’s equation but that is so very difficult to do without Faith in God’s provision for us.  The second verse is 1 John 5:14-15, "And this is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him."  This speaks to the confidence I have had from day one.  I am in His will and He sends love letters through each of you to show His provision for me.  You are a large part of the reason I am in such a good place.  Your prayers sustain me and give me confidence in the future outcome.  God hears my prayers and He hears your prayers for me and my family.  The adventure continues so please continue to pray as God directs you.

Thank you,
Price

P.S. Price and I (Jan) would like to ask for a special prayer request for our Aunt Becky and her wonderful family.  Aunt Becky is presently taking a turn for the worse this evening and the family has been notified that time is very short.  We know Aunt Becky, after 93(?) amazing years, is ready to see Jesus!  We pray for her now and all her loved ones.   
  

His Plan.

I am starting my fifth round of intravenous Chemotherapy today.  I have a CT Scan scheduled for Monday February 4th (the day after the Super Bowl).  That will be the first time Dr. Strauss (my oncologist) will be able to gauge the progress on shrinking the tumors.  That will also be the first time the doctors would be able to see God’s complete healing of the tumors.  Of course that is predicated on God’s plan and timing for my healing.  That is a great prayer to continue praying for but it also gives a specific date to pray for God’s complete healing in a miraculous way.

Sorry that it has taken so long for this update. Our family is doing really well. However, Catherine, who has been the only one in the family that has not been sick, caught a bad cold last week and is still fighting it.  She was planning to come to Dallas for a visit last weekend but she cancelled that flight and re-scheduled.  The rest of the family is healthy.  Jan gets her second review, with x-ray, of her foot the first of February.  Hopefully, she will be released to full use of her foot with no boot needed.  Another great prayer request.  Carol is now settled in at Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch, located north of Amarillo, for her internship.  She will be there till midsummer but graduate from UT with her master's degree in social work in May.  She will be flying to Dallas on Southwest for extended weekend visits. Julie continues to be our faithful shadow soldier. My brother and his wife will be coming to Dallas the weekend of February 8th.

On Monday, January 14, I turned 62.  That is when I told Mike that I was going to retire April 1st after 38 years with Oncor.  That is a great life milestone to make and I thank God for his provision in getting me to that momentous point in life.

God’s provision in our life is a wonderful thing, that we sometimes take advantage of, as we hustle through our daily life.  We need to draw upon it, thrive from it, and thank God often for it.  In the interim, from the last Update, I have see God’s provision more clearly in my life than ever before because I realized the power that it brings.  Because I am still in the Waiting Room I have the opportunity to quietly interact with God.  I do not have any need to dwell on the cancer inside me, or fuss about not knowing about the progress, only pray for healing by God in His perfect timing.  I can simply wait with God and grow my relationship with Him.  That is possible only because of the unshakable Faith that He has provided for me from the very beginning of this Adventure. All the prayers from all the people who have been led to pray for me have been with me during this time as well.  There are days when I have felt a specific prayer for me through the quickening of the Holy Spirit.  Thank you for your diligence in lifting me with your prayers.

I have two verses that I want to share for this Update.  The first is Micah 7:7 "But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation.  My God will hear me." The second is Jeremiah 17:14 "Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; Save me and I will be saved, For Thou art my praise." I am, I have, and I will watch for those times that God lets me know that He cares about me on a personal level, has a plan for me, and wants me to talk to Him.  My prayer from day one has been for a miraculous healing from God that all doctors would proclaim could have only come from God.  I was strongly lead to that prayer and God has not shown me that I need to pray differently.  It is a bold, provocative request by me to God. I would never presume that I know when God will heal me but I do feel confident that healing is part of His plan for me.  That confidence comes from all the answered prayer, protection from the bad side effects of Chemotherapy, the mostly daily love letters He sends, and His provision for me.  Learning what His plan for me is a process of getting to know Him by growing my relationship with Him.  We cannot know His plan completely because we would not be able to handle it correctly.  Those are the reasons I included the versus from Micah.  I am to continually thank and praise God and never get ahead of Him.  I do that when I listen, watch, pray and seek a closer relationship with Him.  The verse from Jeremiah speaks to the miraculous healing I have been praying for.  The vital part of that verse is "For Thou art my praise". It speaks to my relationship with God.  I am to continually praise God, not because He commands me to but because He deserves it. I should want to, and He responds to my heartfelt expression of all He has done for me because He loves me.  I say all this because the Waiting Room experience has shown me that I may not be happy, patient, long suffering, or even nice on a day to day basis, even with unstoppable Joy.  That is part of being human.  How we react to those times, the lessons we learn, and reconciling the hurt we cause during those times with those we hurt is vital to moving forward.

Please continue to pray for my family, and me.  I will attempt to be more frequent on the Updates but I think God used the time to bring me to a higher level of understanding.  I tried several times to start an update but the spiritual message was always vague and not ready for prime time as they say.  This one was a totally different experience so I will say it was written in God’s timing.

Thank you,  
Price